Hmmm...Growing.

It's nice to learn new things everyday. I know I have, the more I read and really think about things... I'm hoping that I will go home a bit more mature and ready to get a job. I need to make my own money! I want to have a car and go to school. I don't really have anyone to do help me with that either...and I don't want Robby having to support me so much..@__@ It makes me feel awful.

Sometimes I wish my parents were like other parents...where I could have my school, car and other things paid for... but they aren't. It doesn't change my love for them though. I love them very much! If they DID get me a car or something BIG I'd treat them so well O.O Because that's a lot of money to spend...and if someone does that, they deserve a lot of love and respect. Sometimes I wish other people were a bit more grateful. Maybe if they were in my shoes, they would be? I know I am happy to have a home and not be kicked out. I'm happy to have a bed and food. ^-^ I'm very grateful. :] I know things will work out for me, I just need to work at it too.... I use my faith, and God works through that...but He wants me to get out there first. Give Him something to work WITH. Lol.~

Ahh...I need to get back to more sewing today! Less than 2 months until Fanime. Oy!! My birthday is next week too!

P.S. I think I want to go to Monterey Bay the weekend I get back. :] That or San Francisco. I'm not sure though, we'll see...

I Adore Your Beauty

Today is beautiful.

The sky is a bright blue.

The clouds are a fluffy white.

The breeze is cool and soft against my skin.

My heart has lifted just by the existence of today.

I embrace it all, I embrace your

beautiful creation.

Thank you, God!

^___________^

Today I got to make sandwiches for Robby and I.

He's working on his car and I'm working on my costumes!

It's nice to have time for ourselves aside from spending every waking

moment with each other! Still, I wanted to at least eat lunch with him.

I did some reading today too. Now I'm getting back to my cosplay stuff.

How was your day today? Good, I hope!

-

Sheikchan

(Photo my sister took. http://sm-photography.deviantart.com/art/Week-5-Soon-155092952 )

When anxiety invites itself in...

I sing it away with songs of praise to God... and that's the truth.

Unfornately my anxiety/depression symptoms have been washing over me like a nasty wet blanket. The only thing that has ever helped me has been God...unlike medicine, He doesn't cover up my problem..He gets rid of it! @_@ So I've been getting through the days much better than a week or so ago. I picked up this book called "Finding Peace for Your Heart"...and it's REALLY good. The writer had a horrible childhood and growing up she had really bad anxiety/depression. This lady had a really bad past...from getting into the occult, trying MANY religions, to taking drugs and having more than one abortion with different men... Now she's a very beautiful lady when a husband who she has been happily married with for 18 years, two kids and two dogs. :D In her book she gives you steps on how she defeated anxiety/depression with the power of God's healing and deliverance. Many people think once you become a Christian all your problems go away, that's not true.... It means when you pray and are obedient (You can't just live your life however you want and expect God to answer your prayers...it doesn't work that way >___> We can't be spoiled brats..); God hears you and helps you through the problems. Some problems can be avoided too because you gain knowledge and wisdom by reading the Bible... I noticed I have more peace after reading the Bible. Some people..it takes a little bit more. Everyone is different though but this book touches many angles! n___n From the way I think to the way another person may approach certain feelings or problems.

-breathes- BUT YAH. Sorry about that, I just really like this book. The feeling of peace and happiness is great...and I mean REAL happiness, not happiness that happens when you think about cool things... It's the one that makes you smile because you're alive and feel great.

^~^

I may not fit in with most of society these days, or fit in with 'the crowd' but that means I'm following God...because most of the world is not. :( AH well, as long as I feel happy...I don't really care where I fit. Or what people think of me O___O; My 21st birthday being a big example. I'm turning 21 right? Going to drink and get drunk right? Wrong. I don't drink and I don't plan on getting drunk...! I'm just going to have pizza and soda at a pizza place...with my friends! I love my friends. ^________________^ (AND I MISS ALL OF THEM D:)

I think I'll go now. I need my rest. Love you all~

-

Sheik

I love designing!

Hey guys!

^____^; So I changed the look of my layout. I like this one much better! It's a little less mature than my other one but I don't really care. I think the artwork is beautiful and I credit the artist who created it. (http://sui-yumeshima.deviantart.com/) She's a talented artist so check our her art work! :]


Thank you all for whoever is following me! I appreciate the comments very much. I hope I can start blogging everyday like I had planned to in the begining. I suppose I just don't know what to say because I haven't been home. I'm still in Texas but it's been SUCH an adventure and a nice reality tap. Not a slap.. xD I don't think I am ready to move just yet but I can see myself moving I suppose---in the future.

Today happens to be a very beautiful day. The sun has graced us with it's gleaming rays and a cool breeze is visiting the city... Robby is working on his car today and I've just been watching the church channel. It's very uplifting to me. I think I'll read my bible soon and then either work on one of my costumes, sit outside and draw or...play Spirit Tracks! XD I love that game, it's so cute and I haven't played a hand held Zelda game in a while. Fun fun...

Where do I belong?

This thought often comes to my mind. Where do I belong? The thing is...I don't feel an empty feeling when I think this. I always go back to, "God has a place for me..." I just need to not be so lazy and stop waiting for it to be brought to me on a silver plate! So many people think that way. We can't just want something....and then get mad when we don't get it if we haven't even done anything! It's the worst way to decide that God or good things don't exist. You need to try and give it your all before you even think that sort of thing! @_@;

Anyway....ugh...I really don't know WHAT I am going to do. I know what I want to be in though, but if God has another plan for me then I will willingly do so. I believe though that I belong in the art industry. It's always been such a pleasure to express my feelings and interests visually. Even in highschool, I was the one kid who everyone at the school knew (even though I wasn't popular like..."rich" wise)...but they all knew me as Bridget, the crazy girl who wore stuff no one else had the guts to. :P My backpack...was always covered in such random things! My hair never stayed the same color for more than a month or two and my clothes never matched in THEIR eyes but in my eyes it was a master piece. XD Ahhh...and now I find myself making costumes and showing them off at conventions. I do...like the attention but I love the fact that something I made is given attention. It feels like I did something. Now I want to do more, I want to make a living this way....but it seems hardly anyone does anything they like.

Right now...I'm thinking I can go into theatre, not the acting part...even though I LOVED drama when I took one semester of it, but in the costume and make-up department. Even though I've never been great at make up(Maybe because I don't try or have cheap make up :[ ) ...I still love the whole dress-up thing. Using the body as your canvas and turning it into something even more creative! The body, in my eyes, will always be the most beautiful creation! God truly is amazing..... and He's amazing enough to share a tiny bit of His creation with me...and all those who are crazy talented!

I must use whatever this...strange gift I have, otherwise I'll lose it.

I really plan on working harder on my costumes these years, and getting back into school. An Art school to be exact. I want to be inspired and I want to put my heart into it. ~

Ahh...I don't even think anyone really reads this blog. Which is totally fine. I'm more comfortable with my other blog being read anyway. This one seems to get personal. (x_X);

-

"Sheik"