Going Home.

Wow. Okay. Time has completely passed me by and I can't believe I've been gone from home for about...45 days? A month and a half. It's the longest I've ever been gone from home. I know just last week I was kind of happy that I was going home because I miss home but now as I look at everything packed I think of how I will really miss Robby and my little life here.. It was really neat being able to be on my own (away from home and what I know) and experience a whole other life, aside from being with Robby who I've known for years.

All in all, I'm grateful for this experience. I wish I had just at least stayed until the end of March. I don't know why I have to go back now, I really don't need to...but I can't refund my plane ticket.

Don't get me wrong though! I miss home, I do and I am happy to see everyone again. I just can picture it now, being home and sitting on my bed while I think of how Robby's still here and I'm not with him. I'll think of how it was to see him everyday. Yeah, we argued sometimes or fought to have our way but it was worth it, being able to see him whenever I wanted to. -sigh- He's such a handsome, sweet, caring guy and this whole time I've been here he has taken care of me. I owe him so much, even though he says I owe him nothing but my love. :P I'm hoping I find a job soon in CA and can pay for him to come visit me. He shouldn't have to always pay for our tickets!

Ahh...I will be strong about it knowing that we love each other and this is just the path we have chosen ever since we decided to further our online friendship into a long distance romance. Heh. I know it may not work for many people but so far it has been working for us. We're still young and we still have room to grow (literally). I am glad the wedding isn't until later...when we're a bite more mature and can actually afford it. :]

With that being said,I think I will end this and go see him. I miss his face already ;_;

(he's in the other room).

-

Sheik

Thoughts and Decisions..~ In Texas.

Cont...

Okay, so I already posted today but Robby is playing a game (which I'm fine with because I love games and I hardly ever see him really play games. He's picky and doesn't play many..like most guys.) It's Final Fantasy XII I think...yeah...anyway. I'm just chillin' in the room too since I still feel kind of blah. His nonna (grandma in Italian) made us YUMMY lasagna...sauce made from scratch and everything. It was gooood.
I have had a nice time here but I really want to have our own place. I think tomorrow we're looking at apartments again.... Hmm, oh I've noticed I tend to tell Robby how to drive a lot. X___X I think it's cause he's new to driving and I'm not. He's a good driver though, don't get me wrong...I just have a big mouth... He doesn't get that mad at me but he did tell me he didn't like me telling him how to drive. I don't think anyone does heheheh..so I'll work on that.

Today he took very good care of me, brought me anything I needed. He has always been this way when I am sick. I just ask nicely. His family says we make a nice couple. They like having me around and I seem to get them together more often. His family had their first super bowl party yesterday. I got Robby's sister, her kids to go and even Robby's friends showed up. His uncle was like, "This is our first party!" lol. There was sooo much yummy food! It was nice. We played wii and talked outside by the BBQ pit, it was warm. Then I helped Robby keep an eye out for deer on our way home. His uncle lives out by a lake and there are deer that often get in the road...so yeah, we had to be careful. I like helping Robby out with things. We both like to find good deals when shopping especially...and it's coming in handy while looking for apartments. The cost of living here is much better than CA...It's crazy how nice apartments are and they're only around $500 for 1 bedroom 1 or 2 bath. I'm like, "That's cheap!" sometimes Robby is like, "That's cheap?" when I think certain prices are cheap. I tell him he should check out the living in CA. xD I mean I love CA, but perhaps..TX will offer me better living.

Ah, but yeah. I've had a nice time. I haven't felt the need to really run back home. I actually feel spoiled here.@__@; I just miss everyone because I have a very loving heart and I love my family/friends...tch, my friends are my family! Heh. :] So if any of you are reading this, I miss you!! I will be back though..I just get sad, cause I'll miss Robby. Either way I miss someone... I've just been missing Robby a lot longer and I am tired of being away from him. It's very rewarding being able to stay with him now for a longer time. Heheh..He keeps looking back at me to make sure I am okay. I keep telling him I'm use to having cramps and taking care of myself when I'm sick... but he says, "Well you aren't alone now, you have me to take care of you." o.o; I dunno....I'm okay though. I am fine with cramps, better than being pregnaaaant :DDDD lol.

So yeah...I am doing good here. It is nice to spend time with Robby. We have discussed the marriage too. Right now I still may move it down. I KNOW I chose a date, but it's the money thing. We have some money saved up (mostly him..) but I want to save up money too to have a nice small wedding. I don't want to rely on just my mom and him to pay for it. -_-; So yeah, we're just going to go over our budget and see if we should move it down..I just really hate being long distance.. so I might move it down to spend more time here. I even thought of getting a job. Heheh. Try and see if I could find something to earn some money. I don't know! We will see.. I will still pray about it. Oh yeah! We went to church on Sunday. It was nice. Robby thought the church was cute. It was very small and had only old people. xD Hehe, they were so nice and were like begging us to come next week. I could see they love visitors. :] We told them we were going to get married in the future and they were all happy. xD I love old little church people. Hehehe....I'm also glad Robby is a Christian even if he's a bit more inward about it. He's pretty inward about everything...XD but I don't mind.~

Alright, I think Robby is going to put on a movie or something. He wants to spend more time with me...I can sense it. I think I'll lay down now and turn this laptop off. ... Heeeey, he said "What are you typing a novel?" XD I was like "NOOOOOO. It's my blog!" I type faster than him. Like 70wpm...he's like 50wpm. ppppppsch. D: Haaay, he put Family Guy on. Hmm..guess we're watching that!

Bye bye~
(oh and I found my camera charger. I'll take more pics later!! O.O; There are some very pretty areas around here!)

In Texas...

Bleeegh, I'm kind of sick today but I'm here..and doing well in TX.

I have had my emotional moments but I think it's mostly due to PMS -___- but today I got "sick" heh so I am just feeling the physical pain now. Robby has been so sweet to me and he treats me very well. I don't feel sad with him, I just miss home when I think about it because..it's home? lol.
We're also staying at his grandma's, who is very nice but..we want our own place. I know I want to get married and not really just "live" with Robby but I do want to see what it's like to be with him in our own place too for a few weeks. He plans on finding an apartment while I'm here now though... it's fun, we've had some arguments but we always make up and he is just really understanding. He deals with my PMS and I can be a real brat X_X (that I am not proud of).

Anyway uhhh I think I need to go to the bathroom again so I'll write more later. Bye...


p.s.
It has been cold and raining here, not typical TX weather... o.o;!!

When will this glass house break?....

I can't help but feel a little sad, anxious and confused. There's been so much on my mind lately...and I have so much on my plate this year. It's quite exhausting to the brain...and emotions I suppose.

I wish you could have your cake and eat it too, but that's not how the world works. You have to make sacrafices.


I'm tired of being away from Robby, but now I have the chance to be with him but I have to give up my home/family/friends over here in CA. I'll still have them in my heart, an occasional visits during certain Holidays.... but it won't be the same, that's for sure. Robby can't be here either, he's already enrolling into the University of San Antonio for free because he served in the Navy and got out with an honorable discharge and nothing bad on his record. I would never take that from him to try and force him to make a living here with expensive schooling and no good jobs hiring.

I'm holding hands with my family/friends here and Robby/betterEconomy on the other side. Either way I have to let go on one side... right now I'm being tugged at both ends and I feel as if I'm breaking. It's such a hard thing to deal with, and unless you've gone through it you don't know. No matter how much you analyze it, you don't know...so I wish my family would stop pretending to know what they're saying. They haven't been in a relationship with someone who would go over seas, who would write long letters...years of really letting each other know how ourselves are. I'm tired of it...I want to be with him, and I don't want anyone else.. I just have to make a sacrifice if I want to end this long distance thing and be with him.

Maybe I'm just being a child about it all... u_u Please guide me God. I only trust your path.


/end.