I can't help but feel a little sad, anxious and confused. There's been so much on my mind lately...and I have so much on my plate this year. It's quite exhausting to the brain...and emotions I suppose.
I wish you could have your cake and eat it too, but that's not how the world works. You have to make sacrafices.
I'm tired of being away from Robby, but now I have the chance to be with him but I have to give up my home/family/friends over here in CA. I'll still have them in my heart, an occasional visits during certain Holidays.... but it won't be the same, that's for sure. Robby can't be here either, he's already enrolling into the University of San Antonio for free because he served in the Navy and got out with an honorable discharge and nothing bad on his record. I would never take that from him to try and force him to make a living here with expensive schooling and no good jobs hiring.
I'm holding hands with my family/friends here and Robby/betterEconomy on the other side. Either way I have to let go on one side... right now I'm being tugged at both ends and I feel as if I'm breaking. It's such a hard thing to deal with, and unless you've gone through it you don't know. No matter how much you analyze it, you don't know...so I wish my family would stop pretending to know what they're saying. They haven't been in a relationship with someone who would go over seas, who would write long letters...years of really letting each other know how ourselves are. I'm tired of it...I want to be with him, and I don't want anyone else.. I just have to make a sacrifice if I want to end this long distance thing and be with him.
Maybe I'm just being a child about it all... u_u Please guide me God. I only trust your path.
/end.
2.01.2010
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I think it's sweet that you're giving up everything to be with your loved one. Me, I don't think I could ever do that because my parents would probably be mad at me ^_^ And besides, I don't have a loved one....yet. But I guess my little sister counts because I can't bear being seperated from her and I always have to protect her from those vicious idiots that make fun of her (because she likes Mickey Mouse) at her high school.
ReplyDeleteBut since I'm not in high school anymore, I always ask her what is troubling her when she's mad or upset. And she always tells me her problems and I try to figure out what she and I should do.
So what I'm saying is, for the moment, I'd rather be near my sister because she's the one that I love the most. She is like my Karou and I'm her Hikarou (you know, Ouran High School Host Club) because they too, were practically inseparable.
I never want us to be separated because I know my life would be dull without her. She is all the love I need..........at the moment:)
I do hope you have a wonderful time in Texas! Tell me all about it, k :3
I don't think you are being a child, I think you are being mature about your relationship.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason Ive always thought when you get married, the most important relationship is the one between you and your husband. I don't know if it was culture or the Bible that gave me impression...but either way I was there most the time you've been waiting to be with Robby and I think you deserve this.